Solar Tablets

The Solar Tablets are ancient artifacts made out from dried feces of unknown creatures from ages past. They contain the secrets of martial techniques used by the Anus Warriors Clan, encrypted in a mysterious language.

Background
There are four Solar Tablets that have been scattered in the four corners of the world by Stepdad as an additional punishment for the Clan disobeying his will. The warriors, determined to keep the precious techniques of Solar Anus from falling into inappropriate hands, have traveled far and wide in order to reclaim the artifacts, but they only managed to recover one tablet before they got massacred by Salamander Corps in 2006.

All four of the tablets are required to grant the user a perfect understanding of the Solar Anus technique. In addition, the writing from the tablets needs to be deciphered for the ritual to work. It would seem that each tablet has its own unique name given by the Clan, that corresponds to the virtue it represents:

Androktasiai (Violence)

Ekecheiria (Armistice)

Kalokagathia (Nobility)

Sophrosyne (Self-control)

Two of the tablets have been found so far; Anus Ron is rumored to be in possession of Kalokagathia tablet which was found in Zanzibar, and Salamander Man has found his way to Androktasiai which he obtained from the last remaining members of the Clan.

Trivia

 * The Solar Tablets are priceless to Anus Ron, who can fully understand the Solar Anus technique even his father has not mastered
 * Salamander Man took up the search around 1990, when he found out about the tablets from a bug he planted in Anus Ron's bathroom